Looking at these two different people is an interesting feeling. In the left picture, I was 19 years old. We’re supposed to be in our prime at that age, right? Absolutely not. I had just returned to my sophomore year in college and I was suffering. Not everyone knows this, but I’m all about owning your story and being real, raw, and honest so here goes. I suffered from bulimia during the summer of 2007. I went into the deepest darkest place I have ever been in my life. There were many nights that summer that I drank and blacked out to numb the pain of self-hatred.

If I sit and think about what that summer was like, I feel darkness, loneliness, self-isolation, self-destruction, and so much pain. I felt insane. I had all these crazy thoughts that wouldn’t go away no matter what I did to try and be normal. What got me out of it? Love, friendship, and action. When I got back to school I surrounded myself with my awesome friends and focused really hard on my studies. I still suffered inside from the consequences of drinking but the darkness wasn’t as prominent.

If you are stuck in a dark place, the best thing to do is NOT isolate. Surround yourself with people who LOVE you and make you LAUGH. Then start to do things that make you feel proud, worthy, and capable. I truly believe action is the ONLY way to reverse depression and love is the only way to cure it. Let yourself be loved and in result learn to love yourself.

The girl on the right, is me. At 28 years old, I have found health, happiness, and self-love. I have aligned myself with a company who’s mission is the impact world health. I have found a community of people who believe what I believe, who think like I think, and who love like I love.

Of course there are nay-sayers, Negative Nancy’s, and there are even people who question why I’m so happy all the time… How do I handle them? At first, I was terrible at it. I was defensive, and probably even offensive at times. It was because deep down, I thought that maybe there was still something wrong with me. I took a lot of stuff personal, because let’s face it… I am human. AF. ;-)

I have accepted that there will always be people out there that think I’m weird or “too skinny now.” Honestly, I still can take the “too skinny” comment to heart. Most of the time I can take a deep breath and understand that it’s because that person is reflecting their own body image issues onto me. But there are times, that I just want them to shake them and make them understand that when I “looked okay” to everyone else like in the left picture, I was in a lot of pain. God gave me with a thin frame and I FEEL my best (coincidentally) the way I “look" now. Please read my “Body Image” blog in terms of my beliefs on looks and how I am all about the feels.

I now own who I am—just as you should. You have everything inside of you to be whole, to live a purposeful, and fulfilling life. Also, remember that we all have a story and to never be ashamed of it. Not everyone will like mine and that's okay. It's none of our business what other people think, isn't that cool? I am putting my story out there for those looking to relate or feel inspired and I'd love to hear yours. E-mail me at kellyhageman7@gmail.com if you'd like to connect.

Sincerely,

your biggest fan

Kelly Dugas

Owning Your Story

Kelly Dugas

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